Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
