I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
