He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
