I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
