I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
