Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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