i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
