i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
