She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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