how can u be prego again
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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