sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
