my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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