I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize