I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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