I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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