what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
