I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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