ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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