After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize