ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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