How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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