i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
