No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
