Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.