had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.