can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
