You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
