I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
