its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
