The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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