Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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