This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
