i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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