So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize