So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize