after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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