I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize