The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
