yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
