This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
