Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pants are for mortals
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
