i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
