I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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