i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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