Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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