I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
