So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
