you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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