i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
