Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize