it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize