note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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