ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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