My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
